Living in Community

During this past few weeks Kris and I both had the opportunity to spend some personal time with a member of our congregation who just passed away yesterday. And while we have not been particularly close during the past 30 some years, strangely, that has changed over the past year or so. Sadly, we probably did not know her as well as she knew us.

Joann started to have Kris do her hair about a year ago, and slowly our relationship changed. Ed started to have me fill their prescriptions. Joann told Kris how much they both honor and respect us. Wow, news to us, we never knew. Ed has started to even stop by weekly at the store just to say hello. We have discovered that they are not the people who we thought they were. Somehow, we changed, or they changed… more likely than not, we all changed.

Now, just when we had begun this new friendship or relationship, Joann developed cancer. She faded quickly. Early on, Ed would continue to bring Joann in to have her hair done, but that did not last long. Joann told Kris that we was ready to meet her maker, and did not fear the end. During the past few months, Ed had stopped in almost daily, and I saw the tears in his eyes. He shared some of his deepest emotions. Joann and Ed both were able to talk about their faith… pretty hard for old Lutherans. We too often keep our faith to ourselves… we think that it is a private thing, hard to share. In the end, it became easier for Joann.

I remember telling Kris last week that Ed and I agreed that she would not last long, maybe another week at the most. We were right.

Joann will be missed! Ed has joined the growing group of other widows and widowers at church. He will grieve. Kris and I will both grieve. The community at church will grieve that loss of Joann. The world will not be the same. As I write this, I realize that we were better friends than I even imagined. Strangely, I feel that I will morn Ed’s loss of his wife Joann more than I have mourned for anyone in a long time.

On Sunday, we had the opportunity to show off our grandson Jacob to our friends at church. Andy and Becky spent the weekend with us. It was really awesome to be able to share with our church community the joy we have and to see the real joy that they expressed in our new addition. Kris stood up to show off Jacob to all. Friends circled our little family and came up to see and to hold Jacob and to congratulate the proud grandparents. It was real community in action.

I use the word community often. I love the word…both its overt meaning and also all of the wonderful complexities of the word. I firmly believe that God calls us into community. Pastor Lenander reminded us in his sermon on Sunday that it is in community where we share with others. He reminded us that in community, together we share great joys and we share great sorrows. I have found that it is in community were sorrow meets joy.

Just as this community of believers embraced our family on Sunday, the community will also circle around Ed and embrace him. We will do this because that is what you do when you are a part of a community. That is what community is. We are community. We are in community with God. Living in community is a faith response to the God who first loved us.